Cancer

CANCER, there I said it, I’ve acknowledged it.  And so my journey begins…….. My hope for these posts is to share this journey with my family and friends and whoever else might benefit.  There will not be any pretty pictures to this category in my blog, just imperfect writing, sharing my journey.  First and foremost I want to say up front, it is God whole heals, and he might choose to use the Drs and nurses, conventional medicine and natural medications to do this healing, and he might decide not to heal at all. Whatever way, the comfort I have in knowing I am spiritually healed through Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, His effectual calling to my dead spirit and the regeneration of that spirit to new life. My life might end here, but it will continue on the other side, eternally.

My mind is a whirlwind, wondering why I can’t seem to hold it together emotionally after all my hope is in the Lord. Is this part of the process of you wanting me to depend on you, Lord?

I had a colonoscopy last week. I had been bleeding sometimes, but assumed it was hydroids, after all, I’ve had six children, it’s part of life.  I’ve put it off for some time because our Medishare insurance does not cover routine exams. I knew in my heart though it was time to go ahead and just pay.  The worse was found, what looked to be a malignant bleeding mass.  A biopsy was taken and sent to a surgeon one week later, confirming it was cancer and that it was large, and I needed to have a CT scan to see if it has spread. So here I sit, drinking the oral iodinated contrast tropical flavor drink.

Why do I need this? I feel better physically in the past few months than I have since I was young. How can I be sick and not feel bad?

I stopped in the parking lot on the way up to my scan, I felt the breeze and heard several types of birds singing reminding me of our creator. A new life drew her first breath today, my 5th grandchild. Lord, may I see her grow up and marry someday.